i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
