But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
