My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
