okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
honey bunches of taint.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
