Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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