East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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