you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
