Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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