Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
