I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
