she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
