i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
