so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
