in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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