I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
