he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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