My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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