So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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