That's when you crack a 10am beer
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
