I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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