What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
