Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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