the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
