ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
