loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
