I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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