Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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