he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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