there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My ass is underappreciated
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think my moral compass just broke
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
