I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
