no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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