she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
