Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
