you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
