Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
its liver damage thursday
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