Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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