Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize