Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
