You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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