Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
