After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
