Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
