I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
