conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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