and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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