I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
