put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
