on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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