i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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