you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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